Sunday, July 10, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

Welcome to Six Sentence Sunday. This is my second week doing this and I’m still a bit nervous. This is where I post a six sentence excerpt from either a work in progress or a completed manuscript. Again, this is an excerpt from my completed manuscript Dead Inside. I’m picking up where we left off last Sunday after Amelia’s friend Tessa cuts her finger.
Suddenly, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Blood oozed from the cut in Tessa’s left index finger and slid down its length. Amelia watched mesmerized by each drop as if it were the best thing on TV. She could actually hear the blood pulsing through Tessa’s veins, pooling around the injury and coming out of her finger. Each drop sizzled like frying bacon and smelled just as tasty. Surprising her, Amelia’s stomach growled again, she was still hungry—famished.
To see other amazing authors who contribute to Six Sentence Sunday visit: www.sixsunday.com. Also check out my website www.piper-anderson.com

17 comments:

  1. Ooh, this is creepy - but very well done! Belated welcome to SSS, Piper. :)

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  2. "... as if it were the best thing on TV." I can just see the look: glazed, unmoving... oh yes, and because the show and the munchies are the same, she doesn't even have to get up and consult the fridge. Weirdly funny, too, but maybe that's just me. :)

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  3. I like how you've paced this. You've done a great job of drawing out her hunger and slowing the moment. Nice!

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  4. This is delicious writing..... I was almost salivating myself!

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  5. Wow, great description of the blood. Fantastic snippet!

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  6. Great job! Well paced and I love 'sizzled like frying bacon and smelled just as tasty'.

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  7. Welcome to SSS! Excellent six! Very compelling read...now I'm craving sizzling bacon. :)

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  8. i'm totally digging your voice in this snippet...the descriptive writing really had me hooked in! Looking forward to seeing what delights you have in store for us next week :)

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  9. Fantastic six. You really draw the reader in with the perfectly paced description

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  10. Oh man...somebody's about to be invited AS lunch. LOL Great six!

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  11. Thanks so much to everyone whose taken the time to comment. I'm really having fun with the Six Sentence Sunday and I enjoy the feedback. It really gets a girl right in the old ticker. :-)
    You all rock--hard.

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  12. Wow!! Really captures the need she feels.

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  13. Someone said bacon? Yum! Feeling her hunger pangs! Nicely done. And welcome to Six Sentence Sunday. Great snippet.

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  14. This flows really nicely with a great build-up to something. Well done!

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  15. Descriptive, tantalizing six...I almost craved a drop of blood myself! Great job! ;)

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  16. Loved the 'frying bacon' analogy!

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