Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Pied Writer

Turn Off The Lights...and Light A Candle

Hey there my groovy fan. Or is it fans now? Are there two? Awesome...! Praise the Lord and pass the panties.

Anywho, enough about that. I'm writing today because I am totally and completely stuck. Writing those extra randy scenes is a tricky business.

My question to other writers: did you ever blush and giggle like a school girl while writing your sexy time scenes?

I sure do. I'm seriously sitting in front of my computer giggling like it's the first time I heard the word...dare I say it? Penis. He..hee...
Of course, that isn't the word I'm writing. The word I'm writing rhymes with...sock. I was told that my "bow, chick-a, bow-bow" scenes could use a little more heat. So, I'm trying to spice things up, you know, kick things up a notch like...BAM! But, in the back of my mind I'm thinking "What if people think I've done that?" or "What if people think I want to do that?".

My question to readers is: when you're reading do you ever wonder if the writer is really as freaky in the sack as her/his characters?

Again, I sure do. When I'm reading I can't help but think that I would trade lives with some of my favorite writers in a heartbeat if that's how life is for them. I'm far more likely to be the girl who thinks she's all sexy and throws her leg over her partner to straddle him but instead ends up falling off the bed. Or have you ever seen that Zoosk commercial where the online date goes horribly wrong and the man and woman run to each other only to smack right into each others faces? Yeah, that's more like me than I care to admit. Shh... Don't tell anybody.

So, how do you do it? How do you pull off a blush worthy, lock the doors for a few hours and turn down the lights love scene? And have you ever had a time in your life where instead of being the inner vixen you think you are you ended up being the bumbling Gilligan in bed? I'm looking for your best funny sexy time stories people.

Also, again, The Pied Writer is a day early, but what can I say...? When you feel it you just...gotta write. Please continue below to where I've included the infamous commercial that mimics my love life.


  1. Hi Piper. Enjoyed your post. I do get - ahem - a little warm when I write sex scenes. But as time goes by I notice I am less and less effected by it. I choose to write my spicier stuff under my pen name, Pepper, so I never worry about what people are thinking about me when they read my work. Have you tried doing Six Sentence Sunday? It's really increased traffic to my site. Check out www.sixsunday.com for info on that. And good luck. Keep writing!

  2. Pepper,
    Thanks for the advice. I haven't ever checked that site out, but I'm going there now. Thanks for the hook up and the comment.

  3. Hey there Piper. My very 1st sex scene was written while my young son was home and as I sent it off to be critiqued by my friends, I ran and hid in the closet because I wrote this incredibly hot scene while SpongeBob Squarepants was blaring from the other room...Lol. I'll never forget that.

    As for, um, "spice" well if it gets you hot when you write it then chances are, it'll get your readers hot too. That's what I aim for, and I am very very lucky to have a wonderful husband who throws himself at my feet and is willing to try just about anything I can think up (in the name of research, of course). I just love that man!

  4. Jacee,
    That is hilarious...LOl. I will never be able to think of SpongeBob again without laughing. Thanks for the advice. I'll keep that in mind. I always figured that if it got me hot why wouldn't it get someone elses motor running.