Below you'll find another excerpt from my finished manuscript Astrid Walker. A Supernatural Thriller with romantic elements, it's about a woman suffering from nightmare induced insomnia. Upon a suggestion from a friend, she takes a sleep-aid that instead of helping her sleep has a couple scary side-effects...astral projection and dream-walking. This excerpt shows her first experience with dream-walking, she's staring at a picture of her best friend--who doesn't believe her experience--while in her astral body....
“I’m crazy,” she scoffed in her echoic, dreamy, bell voice, “puh-lease. You dress up like Marilyn Monroe for Halloween and I’m the crazy one.” She touched Davin’s image with the tip of her pointer finger—and froze.
A queasy feeling rolled over her.
Eyes focused on the photo, it blurred, rippled as if it were liquid, a loud whooshing rushed through her ears.
Her vision unfocused as if scrambled, it wobbled, shifted—changed.
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Really intriguing premise! Cool reaction to the experience!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really well-written description of her predicament. Fab snippet!
ReplyDeleteOh my, you've really succeeded in creating the eerie suspense-filled mood here, great six!
ReplyDeleteAHHH. I have to know more about what happened!!
ReplyDeleteOh my! I was right there with her in that scene! Fab description - unsettling and just a touch unreal. Perfect for her plight! :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great cliffhanger! Now I must know what's happening. Great six!
ReplyDeleteWhat just happened? Damn - you got me good now I have to read the rest! Awesomesix!
ReplyDeleteHow could you stop there?! Such a tease! Great snippet!
ReplyDeleteThere's something particularly unsettling about the place between, when something is losing one form and hasn't yet solidified into another. Cliffhanger cut at the end, too.
ReplyDeleteLove the six but I'm not crazy about being left hanging. Better give us more next week
ReplyDeleteWonderful imagery of the dream-like state she's in! Can't wait to find out more! GREAT Six!
ReplyDeleteCool! Can't wait to see what's going to happen!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of astral projection as a plot line. Looking forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteThe pacing of your prose really helps to establish the tension. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone who commented. I'm glad my work is being received well. I'm a very anxiety riddled writer so it means the world to me to get such awesome feedback.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. Great hook!
ReplyDeleteI agree! Totally sucked me right in!
ReplyDeleteGreat description. I could completely believe this scene and felt as if I were there. Great six!
ReplyDeleteLots of writers do this, giving a snippet of their work. I usually find it frustrating because they just dump five to ten sentences with no set-up. THANK YOU for setting the stage properly, providing some background on the story and the scene. It actually makes the snippet so much more enjoyable!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. Can't wait to read more
ReplyDeleteI like this alot, very atmospheric!
ReplyDeleteI want to read more! Intriguing six!
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