Sunday, July 10, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday

Welcome to Six Sentence Sunday. This is my second week doing this and I’m still a bit nervous. This is where I post a six sentence excerpt from either a work in progress or a completed manuscript. Again, this is an excerpt from my completed manuscript Dead Inside. I’m picking up where we left off last Sunday after Amelia’s friend Tessa cuts her finger.
Suddenly, everything seemed to move in slow motion. Blood oozed from the cut in Tessa’s left index finger and slid down its length. Amelia watched mesmerized by each drop as if it were the best thing on TV. She could actually hear the blood pulsing through Tessa’s veins, pooling around the injury and coming out of her finger. Each drop sizzled like frying bacon and smelled just as tasty. Surprising her, Amelia’s stomach growled again, she was still hungry—famished.
To see other amazing authors who contribute to Six Sentence Sunday visit: www.sixsunday.com. Also check out my website www.piper-anderson.com
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17 comments:

  1. Zee MonodeeJuly 10, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    Ooh, this is creepy - but very well done! Belated welcome to SSS, Piper. :)

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  2. E. P. BeaumontJuly 10, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    "... as if it were the best thing on TV." I can just see the look: glazed, unmoving... oh yes, and because the show and the munchies are the same, she doesn't even have to get up and consult the fridge. Weirdly funny, too, but maybe that's just me. :)

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  3. Monica Enderle PierceJuly 10, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    I like how you've paced this. You've done a great job of drawing out her hunger and slowing the moment. Nice!

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  4. MicheleJuly 10, 2011 at 1:33 PM

    This is delicious writing..... I was almost salivating myself!

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  5. AnonymousJuly 10, 2011 at 2:17 PM

    Wow, great description of the blood. Fantastic snippet!

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  6. Sarah GrimmJuly 10, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Great job! Well paced and I love 'sizzled like frying bacon and smelled just as tasty'.

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  7. J.C. MartinJuly 10, 2011 at 2:50 PM

    Welcome to SSS! Excellent six! Very compelling read...now I'm craving sizzling bacon. :)

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  8. JoAnne KenrickJuly 10, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    i'm totally digging your voice in this snippet...the descriptive writing really had me hooked in! Looking forward to seeing what delights you have in store for us next week :)

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  9. AnonymousJuly 10, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    Fantastic six. You really draw the reader in with the perfectly paced description

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  10. AnonymousJuly 10, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Oh man...somebody's about to be invited AS lunch. LOL Great six!

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  11. PiperJuly 10, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    Thanks so much to everyone whose taken the time to comment. I'm really having fun with the Six Sentence Sunday and I enjoy the feedback. It really gets a girl right in the old ticker. :-)
    You all rock--hard.

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  12. BreeJuly 10, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    Wow!! Really captures the need she feels.

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  13. Taryn KincaidJuly 10, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    Someone said bacon? Yum! Feeling her hunger pangs! Nicely done. And welcome to Six Sentence Sunday. Great snippet.

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  14. Jessica E. SubjectJuly 10, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    This flows really nicely with a great build-up to something. Well done!

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  15. Nichelle GregoryJuly 10, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    Descriptive, tantalizing six...I almost craved a drop of blood myself! Great job! ;)

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  16. Ashlynn MonroeJuly 10, 2011 at 7:43 PM

    Great image!

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  17. Pippa JayJuly 12, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    Loved the 'frying bacon' analogy!

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